Wednesday, March 27, 2013

She is.

Over the past many weeks, I have thought frequently that I should write something. For a second, I get an inkling of what I want to say about the process of sharing the end of my mother's life with her. That is usually all I need to start a piece of writing: a glimpse of an emotion or an image I want to convey. But before it can take root, whatever sense I have made of things has vanished.

I don't know how long my mother has to live but my guess is that it is weeks not months.

It is a gorgeous, horrendous, serene and sacred time. It is intimate. It is mainly private.

If I tried to describe to you how I feel or how she feels it would be a mirage. Transparent. Shifting. Chimeric. Which does not mean it is anything less than profound.

Here is what I can tell you right this second.

She is beautiful. She is breathing. She is kind. She is funny. She is constant. She is graceful. She is my mother.

Soon I will have to use the past tense on all of those attributes except one.

She is my mother.

That one is forever.


  1. beautiful; keeping you close in heart.

  2. I know this journey. Blessings to you both.

  3. So beautifully expressed Stacy. None of us can really know what you are experiencing but it is a gift to have this time to talk and confirm your love. So often loved ones are taken from you and you don't have that precious time to say goodbye.
    She is a very special lady, as are you. I think of you all every day so many times and send you my love and prayers.

    Judy Lott

  4. Stacy- beautiful sentiments that speak volumes about you and your mom. Blessings to you both during this time you are experiencing together.

    Mary Carol

  5. Oh Stacy, I understand perfectly!... I lost my dearest mom to ovarian cancer.
    The most important moment is right now. To enjoy all of her moments without thinking in the future. Right here. Right now.

    Lots of Love.