Well, it has been decided.
I fussed in my brain for a full month about whether or not to end the Year I Danced Blog and move onto something else (The Year I Became a Playah! The Year I Shut Up! The Year I Sat Around! The Year I Put My Money Where My Mouth Is!) or to quit blogging in general or to keep it up the same blog for another year.
And the decision came as it usually does, with neither a whimper or a bang, but as a somatic insight. My body said, "Just do it." My body actually said, "Oh for Pete's sake. Just do it. Quit quibbling. Quit trying to be so clever."
My body is super smart. I was in a situation not long ago that was in no way harmful, but it was super evident that if I were smart, I should have left. But I just sat there. Taking it in. Being polite. Wondering if something might change. Pretty soon, my hip flexors started to chat with me. They begin to ache, like they were on fire. I was like "What the hell?"
And then I remembered. When the body senses it is time to leave, it prepares first for flight. It is a primal response. And all systems in my body were go. They were saying, "Go! Let's go! We're ready! Why aren't we leaving??"
So I did. It reminded me that this was as much the Year I Listened to My Body as it was the Year I Danced.
I did equal parts True Movement and dance this year. While I experienced as much loss as I did abundance, I was able to fully process the experiences and find the MOST joy and the MOST pain. My flexible spine allowed for these things to move through me as intended, in a wave. And my strength and balance allowed me to move on when needed. Feelings are of the body and if the body is in balance, the emotions will be fully experienced and yet not over defining or over determining.
I celebrated my 50th year and my 15 anniversary of sobriety. I earned and practiced the right to feel. To sense solutions. To move toward the widest possible bandwidth of the human experience.
So thanks for coming along for the ride in 2011 and I look forward to telling you all about this year, the for sure great 2012. I return to Cambodia in January and then to Bali plus some LA in there too. After that? VIVIAN GIRLS in New York in May and other wonderful things. I may even perform this year (that nearly made me faint just to write it so I am sure it is something I must do.)
Plus I will keep up the dance. With Heather and Susan and Julie and Ka-Ron and my LA teachers and all my dance class friends and to those who I haven't met yet this year.
Thanks to everyone. And Happy New Year.
This is it, baby. Let's do this thing.