Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Maybe it isn't so puzzling after all.

Last night I went to Rachel's Yin yoga class at the Yoga Bar because I wanted to do something special to call in the solstice and the eclipse.

I have written before about her dreamy class and last night's version did not disappoint. I don't know when it happened or what Rachel was saying that prompted my thoughts to coalesce in this manner, but I had the most beautiful vision/thought/idea.

Bear with me for a moment while I try to create a linear tale to this non-linear yoga epiphany.

This past year, I spent a lot of time with Kristin in LA. She is going into her 6th year of cancer. She survived breast cancer in her 30's only to get leukemia as a by-product of her chemo/radiation treatments. Kristin and her family LOVE puzzles and this one, this map of the solar system, was one of the ones they did this past year. It has 1500 pieces and a good portion of them depict the black field of space. It is HARD.

Kristin is kind of a puzzle genius. She spends hours at her dining room table fitting them together. I made it my job to turn the pieces over so they are all image side up and to organize them into piles of "like" pieces. Kristin took over the more nuanced job of figuring how everything goes together.

In my yoga moment, I understood how it all works: my universe. I understood that it makes sense that Kristin would be the one working so hard to put the pieces together. I understood how it makes sense that I am the one turning the puzzle pieces right-side up so they can be easily categorized: this is a planet, these are all stars, and so on.

I could also see that even though I can't know yet where all the pieces go, they all have a place. And ultimately, with enough time and patience, everything fits together exactly right.

Most important, last night, lying on my mat with my tears falling in the dark, I understood that only three things really matter this year.

Kristin has a bone marrow donor.

My parents are turning 75.

My son is in love.

Today, in the light of day, I woke up worrying about more than that. But then I thought of Kristin leaning over the puzzle and I had clarity once again.

Kristin has a bone marrow donor, my parents are turning 75, and my son is in love.

If that is all that 2011 has to offer, it is enough.

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